You

You are the light of my world
Brightening up the darkness
With the three magical words

Your mellifluous voice
Sounds like the chime of bells to my ear
And when you confess your feelings
It feels there is no burden I cannot bear

You make me complete, my darling
You make me alive
You take me places I’ve never been to
You make me thrive

Life is a bed of roses
But thorns there are some
But with you as my guiding light
A smooth sailing it would become

Time flies by, the feelings grow old
But as it is oft said, old is truly gold
Like a bottle of scotch twenty years old
An eternity hence, the feelings will never mold.

A tribute to three awesome guys

Fifth year in IIT Kharagpur is a period whose arrival is dreaded by the normal junta. A year marked with the loss of friends who are passing out, almost non-existent classes, and basically loads and loads of time to kill but nothing to kill it with. All the explicit stuff on DC++ becomes boring after 4 years and a fifth year can probably name every single p***y on DC++. Plus, there is always the tag of "matka" associated with you. Then there is the money that you get, but there is no way to spend it in the village of Kharagpur. And there is the loneliness. But thankfully, I was spared all of this thanks to three very very special guys - Bhalu, Rahul and Gobor. For those who do not know them, they are also known as Arnab Sengupta, Rahul Sarkar and Koushik Hembram respectively.

Thanks to these three fools, my final year became much bearable. There were unbearable moments, many of them (I guess you guys can understand which moments I am referring to P.S. Bhalu you lucky bastard), but thanks fellows for cheering me up by pretending to laugh when I cracked my most pathetic PJs. Right from the "database commit" comment (remember Bhalu ?) to Rahul blessing the duo of Koushik and Bhalu with aces after our last bridge match
every moment spent with you three were extremely special. Rahul, remember the night when you and I went to wake Koushik up at 2 AM to play bridge, and finally we managed to do that by banging on his door for 5 minutes and me puffing cigarette smoke in his face when he finally came out? Koushik, Rahul is sorry if he offended you, but frankly, I don't give a rat's ass. Then there was the bridge. Rahul, thank you for teaching me how to play bridge. It has been a life saver in this wilderness. Also, thank you for allowing me to join the game even after I called 1 Hearts with just an Ace and a King of Hearts in my hand. The nights spent by playing bridge were truly worth it. Doesn't matter if maybe I did a little poorly in some of my papers because of spending so much time playing bridge, I got no regrets.

There were also the parties at Heritage and CCD. I guess they must have become a whole lot richer thanks to us. Also Hotbite and Break n Bite. I don't remember how much we ordered from them. Then there was the World Cup in CCD. Sorry guys I could not be a part of that spectacle, but it was for the greater good. Chatting with Ayan had won India the tight quarter final, and frankly, it's the World Cup. So I could not really change the routine. Pardon my tiny moment of superstition. Also, I know I missed a lot of treats due to a certain factor. Right now, I just wish I could be there, because the moments not spent with you guys sure are coming back to haunt me like crazy. I messed up, I was a scared fool, who did not know what was good and important for him.

Rahul, you got me into Feynman. Thanks to your incessant ramblings about Feynman, I finally started reading his books and frankly, they are probably some of the best books I've ever read. Add to that our probabilistic analysis of bridge and calling conventions, and I can say that I probably had some of my most stimulating (intellectually, Bhalu, you pervert) conversations with you.

Koushik, sorry for the Gobor nickname. But even you can't deny that it was insanely funny. Sorry for making you the butt of almost all of my jokes. But in every group, there has to be murga. Sorry for not supporting you against Bhalu, but frankly, he is a lot bigger than I am, and one punch from him is enough to floor me. I always thought you underutilized your potential. You are an extremely intelligent person and could have done much much better in your academic endeavors.

And lastly, Bhalu. What do I say about you ? Right from first year, I guess I spent most of my time in the hall in your room. Starting from the famous "waaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkk", to the Rocky adventures (and the Brazilian bimbo perfume), our first properly spent Valentine's Day to the last moments in Kgp, we were always together. You really taught me how to have a different outlook on life. The person that I am now is largely because I have tried to model in in your likeness. You were there to correct me when I tried to perform all the besura songs in your room in the middle of the night and also to carry me to my room when I was shit drunk during Diwali 2009. You are one person who has affected me the most during the 5 years in Kgp.

All I can say to you guys is that I would have liked to say all of this to you in person. But since that would probably be too sappy and my masculine ego would come in the way, I am writing this blog post. Right now, awake at 4 AM and so far away from all of you, I miss you all. And I wish I could just go up right now to ME309, team up with Rahul and thrash Bhalu and Koushik in a game of bridge. Just one request to you all, no matter what happens, do not change. You are wonderful people. And thank you three for making my final year in Kgp not only bearable, but also a beautiful one.

Seulement Vous

I know that we will never part,
You will always have my heart.
No matter how far I go from you
There will be no second like you.
You encompass my whole existence
Without you, nothing in this world makes sense.
I never thought I would be capable of feeling like this
But now, bathed in your love, I have been touched by bliss

আমি বাড়ি আসছি

লোকে বলে মৃত্যুর আগের মুহুর্তে নাকি পুরো জীবনটা একটা চলচ্চিত্রর মতন চোখের সামনে ভেসে ওঠে ৷ মনে হয় না কথাটা সত্যি ৷ এই মুহুর্তে আমার সামনে আছে সুধু শুন্য়তা ৷ সেই শুন্য়তায় আমি বিলীন হো যেতে চাই ৷ এই শুন্য়তাতেই আমার মোক্ষ ৷ আমার দয়নন্দিন জীবনের যন্ত্রনার থেকে রেহাই পাওয়ার একমাত্র উপায় এই শুন্য়তাকে আপন করে নেওয়া ৷


অথচ এরকম কিন্তু হওয়ার কথা ছিল না ৷ গ্রামের স্কূল থেকে ৯০% মার্ক্স নিয়ে বোর্ডএর পরীক্ষায় পাস করার পরে সবাই ভেবেছিলো -" হ্যাঁ!! এই ছেলেটা কিছু করবে !!" আমিও বিস্সাস করেছিলাম এবার আমি জীবনে একটা বড় কিছু করবো ৷ বাবা - মার মুখ উজ্জ্বল করবো ৷ তাই ইংরেজি ওনার্স নিয়ে কলেজ এ ভর্তি হলাম ৷ কলেজ এ রেকর্ড মার্ক্স নিয়ে পাস করলাম ৷ আমি তখন আত্মবিস্‌বসে ভরপুর ৷ ভেবেছিলমা পৃথিবীটাকে নিজের ইচ্ছায় নাচাবো ৷ কিন্তু এত বড়ো পৃথিবীকে নাচানো তো সহজ ব্যাপার না ৷ কলেজ থেকে বেরিয়ে শুরু হল চাকরির সন্ধান ৷ কিন্তু একটা সাধারণ গ্রামের ছেলের জন্য কেউ পরোয়া করে না ৷ চাকরির জননো হন্য়ে হয়ে অফিসে-অফিসে ঘুরে বেড়ালাম ৷ কিন্তু চাকরী আর পেলাম না ৷ সব জায়গায় রাজনীতি ৷ উপরমহলে যার contacts আছে, চাকরী সুধু তার-ই ৷ শেষকালে একটা ছোটো কোম্পানি তে সেলসম্যানের চাকরী জুটলো ৷ কাজ -দরজায় দরজায় গিয়ে সাবান বিক্রি করা ৷ কিন্তু এরকম হাজারো যুবক একই কাজ করছে ৷ লোকে কেবল আমার থেকেই জিনিস কিনবে কেনো? কোনক্রমে মাসে 2000 টাকা রোজগার হতে লাগলো ৷ হঠাত্ একদিন সকালে মিলে জিনিস এসে দেখি তালা ঝুলছে ৷ এতদিন মেনে নিতে পারিনি ৷ কিন্তু এবার মেনে নিতেই হল যে আমি সত্যিই বেকার ৷ আবার শুরু হল চাকরির সন্ধান ৷ কিন্তু এই পৃথিবীর ভীরে আমি কোথায় যেন হারিয়ে গেলাম ৷ বাবা ছোট মুদীখানার দোকানের মালিক ৷ বাবর পয়সায় খাওয়া আর সম্ভব ছিলো না ৷ গ্রামে ফিরে যেতে পারতাম না ৷ কী বলে গ্রামের লোকেদের মুখ দেখতাম আমি? তাই বাধ্য হয়ে এক মহাজনের থেকে টাকা ধার করে ট্রেন প্ল্যাটফর্মে একটা চায়ের দোকান শুরু করলাম ৷ ব্যাবসা খুব ভালো না চললেও মোটামুটি চলছিলো ৷ কিন্তু মহাজনের সুদের পরিমাণ ধীরে ধীরে বাড়তেই থাকলো ৷ এদিকে বাড়িতে বাবা অসুস্থ হয়ে পড়লেন ৷ বাড়ি বিক্রি হয়ে গেলো ৷ অনেক চেষ্টা করেও বাবাকে বাঁচানো গেলো না ৷ বাবার অসুস্থতার জন্য আমি কয়েকদিন আমার দোকান যেতে পারিনি ৷ বাবার শ্রাদ্ধ শেষ হবার পর আমি স্টেশনে গেলাম দোকান খুলতে ৷ দেখি, কেউ একজন আগের রাতে আমার দোকান জ্বালিয়ে দিয়েছে ৷ সব পুরে গেছে ৷ আমি অনেকটা সময় সেখানেই বসে রইলাম ৷ কতখন বসে ছিলাম আমার মনে নেই ৷ একের পর এক ট্রেন চলে গেল, আসল ৷ কোনকিছুই আর আমার চোখে পড়ছিল না ৷ আমার সব কিছু শেষ হয়ে গেছিলো ৷বাবা নেই, বাড়ি বিক্রি হয়ে গিয়েছে, দোকান নেই ৷ চারিদিকে অন্ধকার দেখতে লাগলাম আমি ৷ পৃথিবীর আলো, বাতাস সবাইকে নিজের শত্রু মনে হতে লাগলো ৷ যেন সবাই আমার কস্ট দেখে হাসছে ৷ আমাকে ব্যণ্গো করছে, আমার দিকে আঙ্গুল তুলে বলছে - " অনেক স্বপ্ন দেখেছিলি না? স্বপ্ন আর বাস্তব ওনেক আলাদা রে!"


ঢং! ঢং! ঢং! ঘড়িতে আটটা বাজে ৷ আমি তখনো বসে ৷ একটা পুলিশ এসে আমাকে সেখান থেকে সরিয়ে দিল ৷ আমি আস্তে আস্তে চলতে লাগলাং রেল লাইনের ধার দিয়ে ৷ সামনে কিছু দেখা যাচ্ছে না ৷ নিশচ্ছিদ্র অন্ধকার ৷ দূরে একটা পেঁচার ডাক শুনতে পাচ্ছি ৷ পাশে ঝোপের মধ্যে থেকে একটা বেড়ালের আওয়াজ ভেসে আসছে ৷ হঠাত্ একটা ভীষন উজ্জ্বল আলো চোখে পড়লো ৷ দেখি, দুর থেকে একটা ট্রেন আসছে ৷ এই তো!! এইতো আমার ট্রেন এসে গেছে!! এই ট্রেনএ করে আমি চলে যাবো দুরে, বহু দুরে - যেখানে কোনো দুঃখ নেই, কস্ট নেই, হতাশা, বেদনা নেই ৷ ধীরে ধীরে রেল লাইনের ওপর দিয়ে হাঁটতে শুরু করলাম ৷ অলোটা আরও তীব্র হতে লাগলো ৷ ট্রেনএর বাঁশীর আওয়াজটা ধীরে ধীরে জোরে শুনতে পাচ্ছি ৷ সেই শব্দ আমার কানে এক মধুর সঙ্গীতের মত শোনাচ্ছে ৷ সব দুঃখ- কস্ট দুর হয়ে যাচ্ছে সেই সঙ্গীতের শব্দে ৷ আমি হাসছি ৷ আলোটা ধীরে ধীরে কাছে আসতে লাগলো ৷ কাছে, কাছে, আরও কাছে.....................................................


বাবা !! মা !! আমি বাড়ি আসছি ৷

The Mad Hatter

You might not like this covering letter
You may dislike my cv even better
(Though it cost me to the point of being sore)
I assure you you'll hate me even more.


I am no jolly, I talk a lot
I am not a spoilt brat, am not, am not, am NOT
I come from India, with a mouth thats even bigger
I dont charm snakes, I sure ain't a beggar.


I write a lot, a bit more than you'd care to read
I paint a bit, and I sing worse than a bleating kid
I sing some games and I can run pretty fast,
But its what I do with my brains that matter at last.


I dont smoke and I sure dont drink
I can still drive men crazier than they think
I'm innovative and original, this letter tells you how
When i'm driven, I drive home harder than a mad cow.


Its what you'll be singing home in the years to come
Though that won't be a place that I'll be welcome
Its what to your company and you I'll bring,
Magic carpets and smiles to light up a circus ring.


Mail me if you think you care,
Although, you'd better start to prepare
Before you start cursing or tearing your hair in despair
'Coz it wont be easy, to be my boss and not to expire.


I'm mad as a hatter, madder still
Disbeleive me if you will, at your own peril
Why else would I waste time writing this mail
When it is clear my experience is nil?

Give me back the one and a half hours of my life

I am a huge fan of Dragonball series. I finished all of them-Dragonball, Dragonball Z, Dragonball GT -spanning over some 500 odd episodes in less than 3 weeks. So naturally, when I heard that a movie called Dragonball Evolution was coming out, I was jumping out of my boots. To cap it off, it dealt with the Piccolo saga, my favourite in the Dragonball franchise and Chow Yun Fat starred in it. Besides, the girls playing the roles of Chi Chi and Bulma were pretty smoking hot.

So hours passed into days and days into weeks. And finally the D Day had arrived. Dragonball Evolution was released. I downloaded it from the awesome IIT Kgp LAN and watched it. And the next few lines describe why I, a person who has seen the entire DBZ series atleast thrice, want back the hour and a half that I spent watching that movie.

For starters, if we define a similarity function S(x,y) giving similarity between two items x and y, then we shall have S("DB","Dragonball Evolution") -> 0. Goku fought Piccolo when he was around 6 years of age, not while he was in High School. And lets face it, Goku never went to High School. Chi Chi never had parties in her home, infact she met Goku once when she was a kid and Goku was looking for the Dragonballs. Piccolo never killed Grandpa Gohan. It was Goku himself ( thoigh unknowingly) in his Oozaru form. And so on and so forth....

Next, lets come to the movie. I have never seen a movie with such a weak script, pathetic acting and photography. And as for the special effects... heck!! the anime had better special effects man!! Justin Chatwin could never portray the simplicity and innocence of Son Goku. Instead, Goku is portrayed as a cocky and lovesick hormonal teenager. Chow Yun Fat---- man he sucked big time!! Where is the ludicrous idiot named Master Roshi?? Instead , we see Master Roshi as a kind and considerate man with virtually no weak points!! Where is his womanizer side man?? Without that, Roshi is just another martial arts teacher, maybe like Master Shen!! And the lesser I say about Chi-Chi and Bulma the better.

The only convincing role in the movie was played by James Marsters (Lord Piccolo). He did a good job in portraying the ruthless Piccolo and in highlighting the "pure evil" part of Piccolo. Thank goodness Piccolo was not portrayed as a guy who gave up his evil acts out of remorse. Atleast that added some charm to the movie.

As for the visual effects, I know its difficult to show all the stuffs shown in the anime, but still a little bit more of special effects would do no harm to anyone. The Kamehameha wave was just like wisp of smoke, whereas it actually looks like a huge beam of blinding light charging towards the victim. Pathetic!! Just pathetic!! And without the Kamehameha, Dragonball is just incomplete. Its like the soul of Dragonball.

I had high hopes from this movie, being a huge fan of the anime. This movie did have potential, but the director was an incompetent nincompoop. And thus what could have been one of the top releases of the year became nothing more than a one and a half hour long PJ. I wish someone had done a regular H G Wells and invented a time machine so that I could undo my actions for that hour and a half and not live with the regret of wasitng valuable time for the rest of my life......

N(exact number to be decided later) ways to relieve your boredom in class

Well friends, a few days back in a certain class ( I shall not mention which just in case some vindictive person shows this blog to the prof or thanks to Google, the prof finds this blog  ), I was getting bored. And I mean REALLY bored. So, I had to figure out a way to relieve my boredom. Instead, I figured out N ways to and i wrote them down at the back of my notebook. They are as follows:-

1. Draw cartoons of the ( prof | any other (living | non-living) entity ) at the back of your notebook. [The expressions used in this sentence strictly conform to the Regular Expressions defined in Papadimitriou's book]

2. Play Snake on your cellphone.

3. Pretend that you are listening to what the prof is trying to say and do some thing else, like write an article on "N ways to relieve your boredom while in class". [For the more mathematically inclined, this sentence can actually be accepted by a Turing Machine built using the Recursion Theorem]

4. Watch the 9 pointers listening to the prof with rapt attention and even TAKING NOTES!!!!

5. Think - Let your imagination wander. Try and find rationale behind every arbit thought that comes to your mind. Eg. :- How can you transform a mere Homo sapiens into a Super Saiyan III. Or perhaps, How you can explain the concept of monorail trains using only a cat, a piece of buttered bread and gravitation. [Try the last question. Its really interesting]

6. Suddenly notice that the prof is apparently speaking in Zulu. [Actually he is perhaps speaking in English, but thanks to your blatant disregard  for his lecture so far, it seems Zulu to your ears]

7. Watch some of your classmates stealthily enter the class after 30 minutes and share a private laugh with your friends.

8. Get frussst of writing this stupid piece, close the notebook and take a little nap.